How to be a Lady

As manners, attitudes, and styles of dress change over time, so has the conventional understanding of what it means to be a "Lady". Though the term may seem outdated, there are certain aspects of ladylike behavior that are undying: elegance, courteousness, and a sense of respect toward oneself and others. Read this article to learn how to be a true modern-day lady.
 


1. Make introductions: If you are talking to one person and another person approaches, introduce the person you were initially talking to the person who has just arrived.
In the business world, the order in which introductions are made depends on a person’s level of “importance;" in other words, on his or her level of seniority within the company. In such an example, you would first introduce the person of higher importance to the person of lesser importance, and then vice versa. [1] Remember that the client is always of the highest seniority, regardless of his or her title.
Add a thoughtful detail about the person you are introducing, when possible. Rather than just stating the person’s name, also introduce his or her title, or how you know this person.

2. Say please and thank you: While this may sound like an etiquette cliché, forgetting to say these things (even by accident) will not go unnoticed, and comes across as very rude.
Say thank you anytime somebody does you a favor, however big or small; it will show him or her that you appreciated it.
Always thank a host/hostess after attending a party or other special occasion at his or her home. Consider sending a “thank you” text, phone call, or email the following day.
Always thank people for gifts they have given you. You may want to consider writing the person a note thanking them.
Don’t abuse the words “please” and “thank you.” Using them excessively will devoid them of their meaning, and make you appear weak. For example, if a waiter pulls your chair out for you, unfolds your napkin, and then pours you a glass of water, then thank him/her one time at the very end of the action, rather than once after each gesture.
Add details when thanking others. Rather than just saying “Thanks” to a friend for talking you through an issue, say “Thank you for being so understanding. It really means a lot to me.” This will come across as more sincere.

3. Know when to say no: Being polite doesn’t mean being passive and letting others take advantage of you. It is important to learn how to politely tell people no.
If somebody offers you alcohol or a cigarette and you are not interested, then kindly thank the person and refuse. Giving in against your will sends the impression that you are easily impressionable.
Similarly, if a man is attempting to “pick you up” or is getting physically aggressive with you, then stand up for yourself and tell him to back off. If necessary, call or ask for help.

4. Educate yourself: A lady is eloquent and can carry a conversation. This requires being well-read and staying up-to-date on the current events of the world. While this doesn’t necessarily require formal education, attaining the highest possible level of education that you can will be to your benefit.
If you are not enrolled in school, then find alternative ways to educate yourself. Read plenty of books (both fiction and non-fiction), read the news, and attend seminars and/or discussions.
Thanks to the internet, most people have free access to an endless array of scholarly articles on various topics at the touch of a button.
Many college campuses allow people to sit in on lectures without receiving academic credits. Be sure to clear this with the institute before dropping in on classes, however.

5. Have good posture: Standing and sitting up straight are signs of a true lady. As an added bonus, having good posture is better for your back, and will help strengthen up your core! It will take some training to get used to this, especially if you are accustomed to slouching.


6. Be respectful toward others:
Being a lady isn't just about looking or behaving properly on the outside; it involves being a good person on the inside.
When talking to another person, give him or her your undivided attention. It is polite, and will make for a more stimulating conversation for both parties.
Don't interrupt or talk over others.
Offer your help to those in need. This can be as simple an act as helping an elderly person carry his or her groceries, or a more generous act like volunteering at a homeless or animal shelter.

MELANCHOLIC TEMPERAMENT

Main Characteristics

The melancholic person is but feebly excited by whatever acts upon him. The reaction is weak, but this feeble impression remains for a long time and by subsequent similar impressions grows stronger and at last excites the mind so passionately that it is difficult to get rid of it. Melancholic temperament is by far the richest, most creative, innovative and sensitive of the personality types.

Here some main traits you may use for indication and guidance.

1. Inclination to reflection. The thinking of the melancholic easily turns into reflection. The thoughts of the melancholic are far reaching. He dwells with pleasure upon the past and is preoccupied by occurrences of the long ago; he is penetrating; is not satisfied with the superficial, searches for the cause and correlation of things; seeks the laws which affect human life, the principles according to which man should act. His thoughts are of a wide range; he looks ahead into the future; ascends to the eternal. The melancholic is of an extremely soft-hearted disposition. His very thoughts arouse his own sympathy and are accompanied by a mysterious longing.

2. Love of withdrawal. The melancholic does not feel at home among a crowd for any length of time; he loves silence and solitude. Being inclined to introspection he secludes himself from the crowds, forgets his environment, and makes poor use of his senses – eyes, ears, etc. In company he is often distracted, because he is absorbed by his own thoughts.

3. Serious conception of life. The melancholic looks at life always from the serious side. At the core of his heart there is always sadness.

4. Inclination to passivity. The melancholic is a passive temperament. It is difficult to move him to quick action, since he has a marked inclination to passivity and inactivity. This passive life approach of the melancholic accounts for his fear of suffering and difficulties as well as for his dread of interior exertion and self-denial.

5. Melancholic is reserved. He finds it difficult to form new acquaintances and speaks little among strangers. He reveals his inmost thoughts reluctantly and only to those whom he trusts. He does not easily find the right word to express and describe his sentiments. He tries often to express himself, because it affords him real relief, to pass on the sad, depressing thoughts which burden his heart to a person who sympathizes with him. However, this person should be the one who he considers a friend.

6. The melancholic is indecisive. On account of too many considerations and too much fear of difficulties and of the possibility that his plans or works may fail, the melancholic can hardly reach a decision. He is inclined to defer his decision. What he could do today he postpones for tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, or even for the next week. Then he forgets about it and thus it happens that what he could have done in an hour takes weeks and months.

7. The melancholic is pessimistic. He is nervous and shy if he is called upon to begin a new work, to execute a disagreeable task, to venture on a new undertaking. He has a strong will coupled with talent and power, but no courage. It has become proverbial therefore: “throw the melancholic into the water and he will learn to swim.” If difficulties in his undertakings are encountered by the melancholic, even if they are only very insignificant, he feels discouraged and is tempted to give up the ship, instead of conquering the obstacle and repairing the ill success by increased effort.

8. The melancholic is slow. Melancholic is slow in his thinking. He feels it necessary, first of all, to consider and reconsider everything until he can form a calm and safe judgment. He is alsoslow in speech. If he is called upon to answer quickly or to speak without preparation, or if he fears that too much depends on his answer, he becomes restless and does not find the right word and consequently often makes a false and unsatisfactory reply. This slow thinking may be the reason why the melancholic often stutters, leaves his sentences incomplete, uses wrong phrases, or searches for the right expression. He is also slow, not lazy, at his work. He works carefully and reliably, but only if he has ample time and is not pressed. He himself naturally does not believe that he is a slow worker.

9. The melancholic pride. The pride of the melancholic has its very peculiar side. He does not seek honor or recognition; on the contrary, he dislike to appear in public and to be praised. But he is very much afraid of disgrace and humiliation. He often displays great reserve and thereby gives the impression of modesty and humility; in reality he retires only because he is afraid of being put to shame. He allows others to be preferred to him, even if they are less qualified and capable for the particular work, position, or office, but at the same time he feels slighted because he is being ignored and his talents are not appreciated.

10. Perfectionism. The temperament is also often a perfectionist, being very particular about what they want and how they want it in some cases. This can result in them being unsatisfied with their own performance or creative works, and always pointing out to themselves what could and should be improved. Melancholic hold himself and others to unrealistically high standards, and get distressed when these standards are not met. This leads to the poor and under-valuated self - because he does not meet his own standards - and critical of others - because those others do not meet his standards as well.

11. Tendency to arguments. Melancholic frequently tends to argue, because he cannot simply let things be if they seem wrong. He provides valid elaborate arguments using reason, evidence, logic, and explanations, delivered analytically or with pleading. He only argues to set wrongs right, rather than to assert dominance.

12. Possessiveness. Melancholic is usually very possessive about the things that he owns and is reluctant to let others borrow or use them, because he treats his own things well, cares about everything deeply, and will worry that others will not look after them with the same level of care.

13. Sensitiveness. Melancholics are very emotional. They are moved deeply by beauty, and by distress. They are very easily hurt, because of their perfectionist tendencies. Often their moods are like delicate glass sculptures; built up slowly, deliberately, and carefully, but easily broken, and hard to repair once shattered. They respond to things that they dislike with misery and with tears rather than with rage. They are very slow to 'snap', but will hold onto emotions for a very long time. They hold grudges, because people who have failed to meet their standards, who have hurt them, will not just suddenly meet those standards without changing drastically.

14. Introverts: Melancholics are the most introverted of the temperaments in that they crave time alone, and are most at ease in their own company.

They can enjoy spending time with others, but this drains their energy, and they need alone time in order to recharge.

Much of their introversion comes from their perfectionism. They are picky about the sorts of people that they associate with; people who meet their standards and share their outlook. People that don't will make them uncomfortable; they do not wish to talk to 'anyone and everyone'. 
Their self-deprecation also makes them think that they might not be very interesting anyway, that they aren't really worth spending time with, even if they know in the depths of their minds that they are very interesting indeed.

Once they have someone to talk to in a quiet and relaxed environment, they can talk a lot and will enjoy sharing thoughts and ideas.

They are very wary of making friends. Unlike sanguines, it can take them a very long time for them to consider someone they're familiar with a 'friend', but once they've reached this point, they will likely stick with that person loyally.

They prefer having a few close friends to many acquaintances.

They can be seen as selfish, because they prefer to be alone with their thoughts, to have their own things, rather than sharing time or possessions socially with others. 
They are usually very possessive about the things that they own and are reluctant to let others borrow or use them, because they treat their own things well, care about everything deeply, and will worry that others will not look after them with the same level of care.

They could be described as 'intense', rather than 'easy-going'.

Sources and Additional Information:

http://angelicum.net/newsroom/the-four-temperaments-by-rev-conrad-hock/

http://hedjumacation.net/considerations/uniqueness/temperament/4-temperaments/

http://temperaments.fighunter.com/?page=melancholic

http://fivetemperaments.weebly.com/melancholy.html

http://earthschooling.info/thebearthinstitute/?p=1868